WRIT OF SUMMONS
MALAYSIA
IN THE HIGH COURT IN SABAH AND SARAWAK AT KUCHING
SUIT NO. ________
BETWEEN
PHILIP CHIN LIAN FUNG … Plaintiff
AND
JAMES YONG … 1st Defendant
JAMES KUO HANG UNG … 2nd Defendant
HARRY GOH ENG KIAT … 3rd Defendant
CHRISTOPHER CHEW … 4th Defendant
RICHARD LEE … 5th Defendant
CHIEH LIPP KEE … 6th Defendant
BENJAMIN CHUNG … 7th Defendant
WE COMMAND you that within twenty (20) days after the service of this Writ of Summons on you, inclusive of the day of such service, you do cause an appearance to be entered for you in a cause at the suit of the abovenamed Plaintiff.
AND TAKE NOTICE that, in default of your so doing, the Plaintiff may proceed therein to judgment and execution.
WITNESS the Registrar of the High Court in Sabah and Sarawak the 1st day of April, 2009
…………………………. …………………………
Advocates for the Plaintiff
REGISTRAR
High Court, Kuching
This Writ may not be served more than six (6) calendar months after the above date unless renewed by Order of the Court.
The Defendant may appear enter hereto appearance either personally or by an advocate at the Registrar of the High Court.
A Defendant appearing personally may, if he desires, enter his appearance by post, and the appropriate forms may be obtained by sending a Postal Order for RM5.00 with an addressed envelope to Registrar, High Court at Kuching.
High Court, Kuching
This Writ may not be served more than six (6) calendar months after the above date unless renewed by Order of the Court.
The Defendant may appear enter hereto appearance either personally or by an advocate at the Registrar of the High Court.
A Defendant appearing personally may, if he desires, enter his appearance by post, and the appropriate forms may be obtained by sending a Postal Order for RM5.00 with an addressed envelope to Registrar, High Court at Kuching.
INDORSEMENT AS TO SERVICE
This Writ was served by by way of personal service (or as may be) (state manner of service) on the defendant at on the .......... day of ........... 2009.
Indorsed on the ........... day of ............... 2009
Process Server
Indorsed on the ........... day of ............... 2009
Process Server
STATEMENT OF CLAIM
1. Sometime in the early eighties, the Plaintiff was residing in a flat in Ealing Broadway, East London.
2. At the material time, the Plaintiff was a student.
3. All the Defendants are known to the Plaintiff and were also students studying in London at the material time.
4. On a date which the Plaintiff is unable to recall at this time (further particulars will be given after completion of the discovery process in these proceedings), the Defendants were with the Plaintiff at the Ealing Broadway flat.
5. Without any provocation whatsoever by the Plaintiff, the Defendants, acting in concert, committed assault and battery upon the person of the Plaintiff, full particulars whereof are as follows.
Particulars
5.1 The Defendants physically apprehended the Plaintiff and confined the Plaintiff within a mattress that was found in the flat.
5.2 The Defendants then proceeded to use their fingers to prod and otherwise rub the Plaintiff in the region of his armpits, torso and navel area.
5.3 This continued for a period of several minutes although the Plaintiff felt that it was considerably longer than that.
6. By reason of the Defendants’ acts aforesaid, the Plaintiff suffered loss and damage.
5.2 The Defendants then proceeded to use their fingers to prod and otherwise rub the Plaintiff in the region of his armpits, torso and navel area.
5.3 This continued for a period of several minutes although the Plaintiff felt that it was considerably longer than that.
6. By reason of the Defendants’ acts aforesaid, the Plaintiff suffered loss and damage.
Particulars
6.1 The Plaintiff being a particularly ticklish person (a fact which was known the Defendants) laughed himself hoarse.
6.2 The Plaintiff lost his voice for about a week and was unable to communicate with his girlfriend and this caused them considerable emotional distress.
6.3 During the episode of tickling, the Plaintiff laughed so much that he lost control of his bladder and was incontinent.
6.4 This incontinence had not happened since the Plaintiff was 9 years old and it caused the Plaintiff considerable worry that it would recur.
6.5 In consequence thereof, the Plaintiff was unable to sleep for several nights, repeatedly waking up to go to the toilet.
6.6 For several weeks thereafter, whenever in the presence of the Defendants or any of them, the Plaintiff felt an uncontrollable urge to relieve himself.
7. The Plaintiff did not take any legal action as he, thereafter, had a memory lapse which was probably attributable to the horrendous tickling he got.
8. His memory did not return until he came across a website on the internet set up by the 1st Defendant which contained, inter alia, a reference to the Plaintiff being ticklish and questions raised as to whether the Plaintiff had been tickled before.
9. This incident caused the Plaintiff to recall the incident pleaded above. By reason of his memory lapse, the Plaintiff will say that his claim is not barred by any limitation period.
AND THE PLAINTIFF CLAIMS:
1. Compensation in the form of a 16 oz wagyu ribeye, medium rare, with a side order of mushroom, salad and corn on the cob, accompanied by a bottle of red wine of a vintage compatible with the steak, or such vintage as the Court deems fit and just.
2. Costs in the form of another order of the same dish to be given to the Plaintiff’s solicitor who shall be entitled to share the red wine aforesaid.
3. Such further or other order as the Court deems fit.
Dated March 2009
………………………….
GEORGE LO
Advocate for the Plaintiff
6.2 The Plaintiff lost his voice for about a week and was unable to communicate with his girlfriend and this caused them considerable emotional distress.
6.3 During the episode of tickling, the Plaintiff laughed so much that he lost control of his bladder and was incontinent.
6.4 This incontinence had not happened since the Plaintiff was 9 years old and it caused the Plaintiff considerable worry that it would recur.
6.5 In consequence thereof, the Plaintiff was unable to sleep for several nights, repeatedly waking up to go to the toilet.
6.6 For several weeks thereafter, whenever in the presence of the Defendants or any of them, the Plaintiff felt an uncontrollable urge to relieve himself.
7. The Plaintiff did not take any legal action as he, thereafter, had a memory lapse which was probably attributable to the horrendous tickling he got.
8. His memory did not return until he came across a website on the internet set up by the 1st Defendant which contained, inter alia, a reference to the Plaintiff being ticklish and questions raised as to whether the Plaintiff had been tickled before.
9. This incident caused the Plaintiff to recall the incident pleaded above. By reason of his memory lapse, the Plaintiff will say that his claim is not barred by any limitation period.
AND THE PLAINTIFF CLAIMS:
1. Compensation in the form of a 16 oz wagyu ribeye, medium rare, with a side order of mushroom, salad and corn on the cob, accompanied by a bottle of red wine of a vintage compatible with the steak, or such vintage as the Court deems fit and just.
2. Costs in the form of another order of the same dish to be given to the Plaintiff’s solicitor who shall be entitled to share the red wine aforesaid.
3. Such further or other order as the Court deems fit.
Dated March 2009
………………………….
GEORGE LO
Advocate for the Plaintiff
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxx
RECENT SETTLEMENTS
RECENT SETTLEMENTS
xxxxxxxxx
Out-of-court settlement by 1st Defendent (JY)
xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx
Attempted Out-of-Court Settlement by 6th Defendent (CLK)
Part Settlement by 2nd Defendent (JKHU)
Dishwasher-turned-Lobster Chef JK, who also moonlights as a heart surgeon
JK's culinary creation
Indisputable evidence that the Plaintiff enjoyed the pleasures of this part settlement
xxxxxxxxxx
Posts
May I just add that if the Defendants would like to settle amicably out of court, I understand that my client knows a few fine restaurants in KL that serve a good ribeye, medium rare. Naturally, as his counsel, it will be my duty to be present at the settlement and sample the steak and the wine to make sure that they are of a sufficient quality to compensate for the terrible injury done to the Plaintiff. I know, it's a dirty job but someone has to do it.
ReplyDeletePhewww.... for a moment or 2, I thought this is serious stuff.
ReplyDeleteAPRIL FOOLS '76.
Defendent #1 has settled out of court. Photos entered in evidence will be added soon ;-)
ReplyDeleteYUMMMY ... that looks good
ReplyDeleteDefendent #6 has since moved to Beijing, PR China. There is no chance of any extradition, right George?
ReplyDeleteWait just one minute. What about the issue of costs which is claimed in prayer (2) of the statement of claim? Defendant #1 is sadly mistaken if he thinks the settlement is complete though I will admit that the compensation sure looks good.
ReplyDeleteAs for Defendant #6 having absconded to China, I have spoken to my contacts in Interpol and we will track him down. It is only a matter of time - he will not escape justice nor the long arm of the law.
He can offer to settle with a bowl of 'Buddha Jump Over the Wall' in Beijing in lieu of the ribeye steak if he wishes.
The fact that the writ is published on this site on 1st April is purely coincidental.
CLK might be in Beijing (practising Chi Kung, big belly style)) but the writ still stands. Will consider Peking duck instead of steak. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI have appointed Johnnie Cochrane as my defence attorney. No worries. Who knows what George is capable of, so might as well get the best and spend the big bucks!
ReplyDeleteDefendent #6
JY aka defendant#1,on the advice of my counsellor-at-law,you are, "sadly mistaken if he thinks the settlement is complete". I couldn't agree more with my learned counsel although the steak was really good. We will contact your legal team regarding a regular settlement schedule. Consider last night's dinner as the first installment when sadly, my counsel was not present.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah? Johnnie got OJ off by pulling a stunt with a glove that didn't fit. But none of the Defendants were using gloves when they assaulted the Plaintiff with their digits. So there! I rest my case ....
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to inform you that the EX Mr.Cochrane won't be of any help to you in this world. Unless of course you have privy to his hot line.
ReplyDeleteJohnnie's gone, is he? Didn't know that. So Defendant #6 was bluffing to try scare me, huh? Thank goodness I didn't give up straight away. Almost did when I heard his big name.
ReplyDeleteMy client informs me that Defendant #2, Mr Kuo, had already partially redeemed himself with lobster specially airflown from Canada and cooked by the surgeon's own hands.
The other Defendants will note that Mr Yong, Mr Kuo and Mr Chieh have all admitted liability and offered compensation to him. The rest of you might as well throw in the towel now.
Apparently my client is accepting all offers - steaks, lobster and even peking duck ... he's either a gourmet or a glutton!
Me, a glutton? Never! Just utilising quality grub in an effort to gain more Chi Kung. Defendant #6 suggested that our "one big bulge" stomach was due the practice of that venerable art, when compared to John Lee's fine abs.
ReplyDeleteTHOSE BURGERS LOOK SERIOUS STUFF !!!
ReplyDeleteYum Yum, the lobsters were good. I am prepared to offer the same to 'The Lawyer'. I think it would be in the interest of all for me to defer the second installment of my out of court settlement till you had all tasted Defendant#6 quadruple bypass burger.
ReplyDeleteJK can cook ???????!!!!!!!??????
ReplyDeleteWhat I think Mr Kuo means is that, in his expert medical opinion [being a heart surgeon] the Plaintiff and his counsel will both drop dead from heart attack after taking the quadruple by-pass burger. Then he will get off scot-free.
ReplyDeleteIn my 25 years' practice at the Bar, I have seen all kinds of sneaky schemes by Defendants to get out of liability but this one really takes the cake.
In fact, I am seriously considering bringing Defendant #6 on a charge of attempted murder [the burger is clearly an offensive and highly dangerous weapon], and Mr Kuo on a charge of aiding and abetting him.
If Mr Kuo is still keen to settle amicably, I would advise that he flies back to Kuching before the end of this year and bring with him some of those excellent lobsters. He can even use my kitchen to do the needful.
Not Guilty!
ReplyDeleteI was only hoping PC likes Burger! Remember Ealing Broadway Wendy's for morning breakfast? We all ordered double set of mix grill for breakfast! I also recall PC said he could eat 5 packages of Maggie noodles for lunch! Hence my offer of the Quadruple Bypass Burger.
I did not discuss with defendant #2, JK, prior to my offer to the plaintiff (no witness anyway).
My Chinese law oaths also state that "What GL has accussed us of is no truth, the incomplete truth, and everything but the truth". Heee Heeee.
LOL. If this continues much longer, maybe Philip will only get 5 packets of Maggi Mee. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI seem to recall that CLK aka Defendant #6 could polish off a box of corn flakes washed down with a couple of pints of milk in one sitting. Rarely with any help from me! Then again, sometimes we couldn't afford anything else.
ReplyDeleteSorry, counsel. 5 packets of maggi mee especially from CLK, won't cut it at all. First, he tried to asphyxiate me by sitting on me and tickling me at the same time then he shot me with a rifle and latterly he's trying to induce me to a heart attack with his Quad Bypass Big Pill.
ReplyDeleteBTW CLK, can you recognise the blue check shirt that I'm wearing in the above photos? It a fav of mine and I wore it especially to meet James the other night. In fact you gave it to me while you came to visit me in London in your last trip. Still fits.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean 'we couldn't afford anything else', Philip? CLK said "We all ordered double set of mix grill for breakfast!". Sounds like a life of luxury to me, mate.
ReplyDeleteBob and I never had it that good. We had so little money that we bought lamb flaps and cooked it for stew. Lamp flap is one big piece of lamb skin with a layer of lamb fat and some bits of meat attached to it. I think even the Aussies don't feed that to their dogs. When the stew cooled, the soup hardened like butter.
And the beef that Bob stir-fried for our dinner was 'gravy beef' - tough like shoe leather. supposed to boil it only for meat gravy and chuck out the beef after that. We developed pretty strong jaws chewing on that.
Money was tight but I think Bob, Andrew and I had a really good time then. We were all in Monash but in different faculties. We still got together regularly, joined by Andrew's cousin Leonard Ricketts.
At least you had lamb, beef, stew, etc...
ReplyDeleteWe usually have fry Chinese rice noodles(Mee Hoon)with eggs and onions only...Sometime we add curry powder to make Singapore noodles without the BBQ pork and shrimp.
For meat, we get cheap frozen chicken from TESCO and baked it with butter or cook with curry powder mix, cheap pigs liver for 20 pence a lb(fried with onion), and if money permits, some spare ribs for stew or soup.
Thats why I have Gout now because of excessive purine/uric acid in my blood stream.(from animal organs)
However, we did enjoy them.
OMG, CLK. We are now in deep trouble. Honestly, my deferred settlement was offered with good intentions, like bypass surgery. Unfortunately all great legal minds are trained to look at everything with suspicion and we end up accused of attempted murder! What should we do now? Abscond to Beijing? Somehow I don't think it is a good idea, mate. Chinese justice can be a little harsh sometimes. Any other bright ideas, partner?
ReplyDeleteJK,
ReplyDeleteI remember that you, me, and JY did not participate in this terrible act on PC.
It was HG,BC,CC,and RL.
We will turn to be prosecutor witnesses and point them out!
You guilty foursome, any comments? I am not telling you what I have as proof.I am prepare to share some of the "damaging photos" to all if none of you comment soon with identity.
Hahahaha, CLK, PC said you sat on him! He clearly remembers your weight. I don't think any of the others got the same weight, no?
ReplyDeleteBut it is always a good idea to turn prosecution witness. You get a promise of immunity in exchange for your testimony. JK and JY, you ready to turn on your accomplices?
So HG, BC, CC, RL. what do you have to say? You the guilty ones? Have you booked your tickets to Beijing? LOL.
What, I wasn't involved? These days the old memory isn't so good, and I thought I might have been 3 decades ago. But if CLK has evidence supporting my innocence, I RETRACT my settlement, and will demand from the Plaintiff a return STEAK ... ha ha ha
ReplyDeleteMr Yong, if you can make yourself available in KL on Monday 6 April 2009 at 7pm, as PC's solicitor, I will personally refund you the steak [and throw in a bottle or 3 of wine].
ReplyDeleteOf course if CLK is bluffing, he will have to pay some serious penalty at Re-Union 2009. If he does not turn up to show his 'evidence', we will apply to extradite him. I believe England has an extradition treaty with Malaysia.
All this recent turn of events [especially the offer from CLK to give evidence on our side and JY's claim of amnesia] has made it necessary for me to take further instructions from my client.
ReplyDeleteBecause of the importance of this suit, I am personally flying up to KL to meet with my client to discuss our next course of action.
No doubt an important announcement will be made on Tuesday or Wednesday on this website. Perhaps even with a photo or two. ;-)
It would appear that CLK is trying to worm his way out of this writ by offering to be a prosecution witness.In fact, he seems to be in cohoots with JK and JY in some sort of plea bargaining offer. However, I will defer to my learned counsel for further actions against these "grasses" come Monday noon.
ReplyDeleteHey anon Mee Hoon. Your S'pore Bee Hoon sans BBQ pork and shrimp sounds like the vegetarian version of that famous dish. It's a pity that you've developed gout from eating cheap food like that over 30 years ago.:( I promise you a steak from any settlements from my writ. It might exacerbate you gout but will taste good esp when washed down with a nice glass of red wine.;)
ReplyDeleteIt is my understanding that a good quality steak, with fine red wine, will be harmless to Gout. So be prepared.
ReplyDeleteRib Eye or Fillet (Canadian AAA grade).
I prefer Fillet as it is a non-weight bearing piece of muscle, receives the least exercise, making it the most tender.
Fine Red Wine.
I prefer Australia Penfolds Grange Hermitage, 1980, 81 0r 82.
I think the 1976's will be perfect for the reunion meeting. May be just a bit expensive,but, what the hell!
Have fun with GL on Monday, and this time navigate properly and take some good photos like you always do....